I recently sat down at the Rookery with a new friend for one of those 'life' conversations. We talked for almost three hours. I was reminded through the course of that conversation just how desperately my over churched city needs the Gospel! My friend has not been to church in several years(other than perhaps for Easter or Mother's Day to make mom happy). In fact, my friend has not even been able to talk about church for the last several years without becoming angry, upset, and bitter. I am the first pastor that my friend has had a real conversation with in about 5 years.Why? While my friend's story could fill many pages - here are a few of the highlights:
My friend grew up in church with a family who was very devoted to their church and their Christian beliefs. My friend became very involved with her church and as a teen began to lead worship at a local church even taking a part time staff position - working with the kids and leading youth worship. For $50 a week my friend worked and attended functions (as was the requirement) 7 days a week most weeks. On the occasion that a meeting or church function had to be missed, even for reasons of sickness, family needs, etc., my friend's pastors and their wives would respond in anger - even telling my friend that God was not happy with the lack of commitment. My friend was made to feel like an utter failure. So my friend would try harder, work harder, do more in order to regain the love and kindness of the pastors and God. If there was a night of youth worship when the kids were not energized enough, that too was my friend's fault. My friend was told that something was wrong with their relationship with God or otherwise 'worship' would have been better.
I could go on and on. The short of it is that my friend was manipulated and abused by a church built on rules and man-made expectations instead of the Gospel. My friend was spiritually raped by a Religious Church - and they manipulated, abused, and raped in the name of God. My friend was young and naive and though my friend grew up in church - had no idea of the true Gospel. I am reminded of my last post on What is the Gospel and Tim Keller's vivid contrast of Religion and the Gospel. Here are a few that I hope my friend will one day come to understand...
Religion: “I obey-therefore I’m accepted.”
Gospel: “I’m accepted-therefore I obey.”
Religion: Motivation is based on fear and insecurity.
Gospel: Motivation is based on grateful joy.
Religion: My identity and self-worth are based mainly on how hard I work. Or how moral I am, and so I must look down on those I perceive as lazy or immoral. I disdain and feel superior to ‘the other.’
Gospel: My identity and self-worth are centered on the one who died for His enemies, who was excluded from the city for me. I am saved by sheer grace. So I can’t look down on those who believe or practice something different from me. Only by grace I am what I am. I’ve no inner need to win arguments.
